Friday morning, I made some hand pies. What are hand pies? More on that later. For now, they are a baked good. It was after lunch on Friday. Magoo was home from summer school, chillin' on the couch and I went out to get him a pie from the back sun porch. That's when I saw...
A FRIGGIN' SQUIRREL IN MY FRIGGIN' HOUSE!!!
Well, I scared it as much as it scared me, because it starts hopping all over the place trying to find a way out. The screen was closed. The door to the garage was closed. I ran back into the kitchen and closed that door as well. So now I am safe - but I can't get to my pies!
So I run around to the garage and open that door and run away really fast. Because - in my mind - the squirrel is going to leap forth and dig its claws into my face. I could hear it jumping around again, so I think it was more likely that I gave the thing a heart attack.
But it didn't leave. Old Stupid kept bashing itself against the closed screen.
So then I ran around to the back of the house and opened the screen door and ran away - again, to avoid any claw on face action. I ran back into the kitchen and the dim-witted thing is STILL in there. But this time, when I rattle the door handle, this time it runs out the open screen door.
Okay. So here's the pie it got:
Rotten little friggin' fraggin' #%@!*.
But HOW did it get in? I couldn't figure it out until I saw this:
It ate through my screen! The smell of these delicious hand pies drove a squirrel to eat through my screen!
So I sewed that shut (poorly) and put some tape over it as best I could and enjoyed a hand pie.
They are kinda like Hostess Fruit Pies. A pie totally surrounded by crust so you can eat it with your hands. (Well, you eat it with your mouth, of course. But you can hold it in your hands.) I made half a batch pear and half a batch rhubarb-strawberry. I used the Angry Chicken crust recipe and altered the fruit filling. But I used the baking directions for this one.
I can officially call these Squirrel Stealin' Good!